Ten things I pieced together about my sex life after being diagnosed with Hypermobility Ehlers-Danlos syndromes
After years of my body literally falling apart from dislocations and subluxions it was no surprise when specialists turned around and told me I suffer from Hypermobility Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome; a condition where you’ve born with faulty collagen, which helps hold the body in place from organs to limbs. It’s a lifelong condition which causes pain through repeated injuries and dislocations, fatigue as your body overworks to holds itself together, as well as upsetting the automatic system such as heart and bowels. It’s no wonder I’ve found that over the years it has affected my sex life. Here I’ve put together 10 things I’ve found in my sex life which can be explained by my hEDS.
- The escape artist. For years I’ve tried and tested restraints and yet have never found anything that could actually restrain me, from strait jackets to police issued handcuffs. I actually even thought it was normal to be able to dislocate my thumb to thread my hands out of tight cuffs, although I must admit when moves referenced to people having to break their thumbs I was quite complex up until now, as I would really pull a Houdini and just wiggle my thumb out of its socket. Luckily being restrained is not my kink.
- Maternity and pregnancy pillows (*cough* position pillows) are nifty. With anything and everything bouncing between a combination of being extremely flexible and stiff feeling support under my body is key. Not only do they make things comfortable but also help reduce the risk of subluxations and dislocations. My bed feels a bit like a carry on movies portral of a Harem tent with how many pillows it has in it, but it’s all cool as they help my hip and shoulders stay in place during doggy and other positions.
- Hormones can make things worse. Everything seems to get worse just before and during my period, and nope not just PMS but due to the fluctuation of hormones throughout my cycle it can lead to times where I’m more likely to dislocate, suffer temperature irregulations more, and even experience POTs and tachycardia more.
- Standing sex can be a big no. Standing in general can be a big no when done too long as it can send my heart rate sky high as blood pools in my legs, but then combined this with lifting legs up high it often leads to my hip popping out of position.
- Apparently vertebrate can sublux and dislocate causing you to pinch nerves. I really thought I was going crazy about this one, but my spine goes seriously out of alignment at times and in particular when lying in missionary position. If I don’t use a pillow to form a neutral spine the vertebrate trap nerves which sometimes means I can’t feel any stimulation in my clitoris at all. I’ve had several doctors, specialists, and physios agree that this is possible if you have a very hypermobile spine like I do.
- The lightest thing can bruise me. I’m sure there are many people who would be envious of the bruises I can get, but even the slightly rub can lead me to experiencing deep black bruises. I can imagine that if I enjoyed spanking it may be a problem. But vaginally I can even bruise easier so have to take care.
- Suction toys can suck. Due to the weak connective tissue, wounds easily happen, however suction toys really do cause so many issues with me, making it look like I’d been attacked by a leach leaving a bloody trail even after light and quick sessions with these types of sex toys.
- Lov-e-r-s love my skin. One thing that I’m thankful for is that I never need to moisturise to have baby-like skin. Over the years many lovers have commented on how soft and lovely my skin is to stroke, and now I know why – it’s a common trait of hypermobility EDS.
- Sadists hate me. Due to being use to chronic pain from injuries even the hardest of spanks and the most sadist and painful tortures can feel like hardly anything to me. Luckily I’m not a masochist, however, If I was I could see this easily leading to some serious injuries due to not being aware r asking to be pushed further and further due to lack of satisfaction.
- I can be allergic randomly to things and then not. For years and years I’ve had issues with lubes, plastics, and latexes used in the production of adult products, however, some of these allergies and intolerances can change or vanish and many don’t show up on tests. It can really make picking things like condoms hard at times as some will set off a full allergic reaction that no allergist could explain, that’s until I was diagnosed with hEDS and now the specialists feel I suffer from MCAS, but luckily for me only mildly compared to some people I know.