Spotting Red Flags When Dating With A Disability

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When you have any form of disability it can make dating feel a lot harder because of how disability can have a knock-on effect on our confidence and self-esteem. Whilst there are disabled dating websites out there, ranging from specific disabilities such as amputee dating to more generic disability dating apps, it can still be difficult to push through barriers of self-doubt and societal stigma to take things to the first date.

It’s not about whether you state your disability on your dating profile or if you disclose it over a long period of time after chatting online with a potential partner, but the confidence you have around your disability that can affect taking the first steps towards your first date.

There are YouTube videos from disabled individuals providing tips on dating that can help some feel more confident about dating. Talking to friends and family you feel you can trust about dating and the stages of a relationship you’re in can help. Sometimes seeking advice from a therapist can be a good way to build confidence and self-esteem and help you decide on your next dating steps.

Sometimes, as disabled individuals, you can be asked questions outside of your comfort zone after disclosing your disability, which can make us doubt our confidence and self-esteem. When someone on a dating app puts you in a position of discomfort due to your disability, it can be a red flag saying more about their personality than yours.

Red flags can be them asking too much, starting to overly focus on your disability, sexualizing your disability, being offensive around your disability. Sometimes an individual will just vanish into the online dating abyss. When this happens it’s often a good sign that you’re simply just not right for one another. When you have a disability it’s easy to forget, but it doesn’t define you and your personality. There are many disabled people who find successful relationships, and most will state that it’s those partners who don’t focus on their disability that are the keepers.

Once you have found someone online who you are confident chatting to online and want to take things further, it’s time for your first date.

A disability shouldn’t get in the way of your date and you can have a date night just like anyone else. Making sure that certain things are accessible to your particular needs is key. If you can’t manage certain activities due to your disability, think ahead and see if there is an accessible alternative.

As disabled individuals, no one should feel bad about requesting certain dating terms for date night, everyone does it. You wouldn’t go to watch a horror movie if it sent you uncomfortable vibes. No one should be made to feel uncomfortable about their preferences, regardless of reason, including disability. If someone makes you feel guilt or shame about needing a specific type of date, then maybe they’re not the right relationship for you.

Remember, not all disability dating stories are negative, there are many positive ones out there.

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