How to Introduce Sex Toys into a Relationship

Tips on how you can introduce Sex Toys into your Relationship


Sexual pleasure and satisfaction are core factors within a relationship, yet we may hold strong to the belief that sex isn’t everything, but when we are unable to achieve the release we require through nuptial activities it can put strains on other areas of our lives. Orgasm is the ultimate of goals. We want them and if we are in a relationship we want to experience them together. This goal can be difficult to achieve even with the helping hands of a partner. This is where the introduction of sex toys can help us become more aware of our body’s responses as well as make us reach our desires in a timely manner. Even if we have become masters of solo pleasure, wielding sex toys in a successful vigour, bringing your current skills and sex toys into a pre-existing relationship can seem daunting.

There are a few intrepid steps in to how one can introduce sex toys into your relationship play:


1. Personal confidence and knowledge.

First one must become confident with solo masturbation. If you’re not use to masturbating by yourself how can you expect to be able to introduce mutual masturbation into your relationship? Learn your body’s responses and what works for you and most importantly relax and enjoy yourself. Once you have become confident with what form of masturbation you like, explore various sex toy shops to choose a device which fits you. A basic vibrator such as a pocket rocket can be ideal for those seeking for clitoral enjoyment. Whilst trolling through online or in store shops, take note of what the different types of products there are and how these can be used in future explorations of masturbation. Knowledge is key, and before setting out onto your quest of introducing sex toys and masturbation into your relationship, it’s best to be educated rather than going blindly into things. One of the most off putting things out there is requesting something to a partner you know nothing about. Also knowledge will help you gain confidence for when it’s time to introduce sex toys and masturbation. Using online resources such as sex toy reviews and forums can help vastly expand your knowledge as well as giving you the opportunity to relate with others.

2. Getting experimental.

You’re still a far way off from introducing sex toy into sex play. Although it may be tempting to dump this idea onto your partner during foreplay, sometimes it can be more off putting and burdening. Whipping out a sex toy without your partners consent, let alone an idea on their boundary levels can lead negative outcomes. You may not be confident about how your partner may react when bringing-up sex toys during conversation, so there are a few things you can do prior to this level, to get an idea of their comfort levels. Basic hands down foreplay, yet stepped-up a notch. Foreplay if vital for intercourse, it makes it easier, enjoyable, exciting, elicit, and more. Yet many of us often stick to the basics and minimum amount before getting into a full on shag fest. If you’ve wishing to introduce a cock ring into your sex life, either get your partner or yourself to grip around the lower shaft of a penis during mutual masturbation, this will give you an idea if they or yourself are comfortable with this. If you’re interested in light restraints, whilst caressing the nape of your lovers neck gently grasp their wrists in your hands and see if they are comfortable. Talk calmly whilst experimenting, reacting various sex toys actions and functions with your body. Stopping at any signs of discomfort. If your partner is showing obvious signs of enjoyment, verbally tease out the reason behind their excitement.

3. Conversation and communication.

Bringing sex toys into conversation can be tricky. You’ve now gained knowledge and personal experience, and you’re pretty certain on what you like or want to like. Yet, you are still a skip away from bringing a toy into you and your partner’s bed. By now your partner might have dropped some hints on their comfort levels, maybe you’ve figured out some cues which they are relaxed about, and maybe you have both entered the odd humour induced conversation when confronted with the thought of adult novelties. But how much have you actually talked about sex toys and YOUR sex life? Sure it’s great that many of us say we like a certain position, but how many of us go bound this and state the reasons why? This can work with sex toys. We may say boldly (or even timidly) that we like the idea of using sex toys, but it’s the reason behind it, and stating your past experiences with sex toys which are the key openers when introducing them into your play. Explain what you like about the sex toy, all the pleasure you both can experience together, your past masturbation experiences with sex toys highlighting the positives side. Take things slowly, don’t rush things, and if you sense your partner is uncomfortable give them time to reflect on it and return to it in the future. Focus on the positive side of your sex life and explain how a sex toy isn’t a replacement, just another thing that can lead to other pleasurable areas. Sharing your personal experiences and desires regarding sex toys can be a great door opener, there is a line you shouldn’t cross. That’s bringing past relationships into the equation. Focus on the current relationship and not the past, your partner is already being confronted with a third party in the your bed (the toy), they don’t need a forth intruder of a more personal nature.

4. Their experience

Listening to your partner and their past experience can help bring a toy into your sex life. Maybe your partner hasn’t considered using sex toys until your recent revelations. Maybe help them choose a sex toy for themselves, or if they are still a tad shy to shop for one, why not purchase one for them as a gift. Starting with something cheap and cheerful from a basic sex toy range, can be a good option. Once it arrives, make it like a gift for their personal enjoyment. Leave them a note about the product and a few ideas on how to use the toy, or a piece of erotica, or even a love letter. Run them a bath or give them a massage to help relax them, before leaving them to their own devices. They need to form their own relationship with the product and become comfortable with it in their own right. Afterwards, don’t quiz them on their experience, see if they drop any hints of the experience. Brace yourself for both positive and negative reactions, and no matter what happens don’t give up. Many people take time to learn what they like and don’t like a product, and if their experience was particularly negative, think maybe that that particular product was just the wrong one for them. Remember, everyone has to start somewhere, and you too would’ve gone through similar experiences when embarking upon your masturbation adventures.

5. Together

You’re now both discussed, experimented, and educated, the next step is to share your knowledge to gain optimal pleasure together. Determining which product you use during your sexual play can be tricky. If you both have sex toys, this is a good place to start. Don’t become disheartened if your partner is put off by the fact of sharing THEIR personal vibrator with you, sometimes, we as humans wish to keep certain things to ourselves. If one of you already has one product, and you both have the willingness to experiment during mutual masturbation, then this one product should for now suffice. Make sure the toy is easy to reach and that you are both in a setting you’re comfortable with. Start with some gentle foreplay and lubrication; don’t go charging in with the cavalry just yet. Reassure your partner that it’s about the both of you enjoying yourselves, and slowly focus on pleasuring each other’s desires. Once relaxed, introduce the toy into play. Start by teasing various erogenous zones such as the neck, hips, and thighs, jumping straight to the genitals can lead to a shock and ruin the mood. Slowly work your way to their neither regions, teasing them with your hands and lips. Make certain you keep as much body contact as possible to reassure your partner that the product is not a replacement for intimacy. Once incorporated into play and everything seems well, take it in turns experimenting with the product, exploring each other’s body and other tips and advice on what you think will work and what you know you like.

7. Investing

Finally, both of you have accepted sex toys into your relationship, yet there’s still something missing. Receiving orgasms together through sex toy play can be rewarding in itself, but to further congratulate yourselves on your graduation to this next level into your relationship, shopping for couple specific sex toys can be worthwhile. Products such as cock rings, solid Ben Wa balls, restraints, wearable toys, remote toys, position enhances, and more, are all products which can be used during sex to open up an array of pleasurable possibilities. From stimulating various areas and sensations differently, to making some sex positions and fantasies possible. There are so many products on the market which can add an air of frisson to your sex life. Some companies offer bumper packs filled with a selection of products which you both may enjoy. For less spontaneity, it can be productive and arousing to shop together with a partner online for sexual products. Shopping together can also give you the opportunity to connect more to one another and chat about your sexual fantasies and how and what product make help you fulfil these together. Or, make the suggestion of setting-up a wish list which both of you can visit and purchase each other a sex toy. Couples toys are some of the more challenging to get right so it’s best to visit various review sites before making a commitments. Also because there are two of you to form an opinion of a product, communication and working together is key. Maybe you’re having trouble to formulate what products will fulfil your fantasies or you have yet to establish these fantasies, opting for a sex board game can help you experiment with different props and scenarios which otherwise would take time to plan. If a particular product seem futile to you, yet your partner loves it, ask them what in particular they like. Experiment with it before throwing it into the trash. The trash bin isn’t the last resort for many products with many companies offering amazing return policies – one size does not fit all.


Just like anything within a relationship you must remember that you are working together. Whilst comprising can be a good option, if you are truly uncomfortable with something talk about it and see how you can work together to rectify any issues you may have. Don’t feel obliged to go a long with it. Remember you are a conscious being and everything you do with your partner should be comfortable and consensual, not intimidating interaction from an inanimate object.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.