Ask Ness: After circumcision oral sex has become uncomfortable

Circumcision can change how a man feels sensation. Ness addresses some methods on how to overcome pain post circumcision.

Hello, I have recently been circumcised for medical reasons, and since then I have found oral sex painful. I am uncomfortable without having a foreskin in both physical and mental ways, and it is affecting my sex life. What advise can you give to me about making my love life more enjoyable once again?


Hello, thanks for your question. I understand that it takes the body sometime to adapt to the new sensations the glans of the penis are exposed to after circumcision. If it helps I have questioned a few men who have gone through a similar situation and some have informed me that it has taken their bodies anywhere between 6 months up to a year, for their body to start responding to stimulation better. Hopefully after some time your body will naturally become desensitized slightly to the stimulation and that you will be able to enjoy oral exploration once again. If not there are a few alternative methods to consider.

Some people, who have circumcisions for medical reasons, sometimes are more willing to accept the procedure, due to how painful or harmful their genitals become due to phimosis. I understand that this isn’t the case for some, and that many men still have to go through the grieving process to help them acknowledge their loss. The loss of your foreskin wasn’t something you desired, so it is going to take time to overcome it, but you must make sure you allow yourself time to. When grieving, it’s hard not to feel guilty or upset about the process, but try not to worry about it too much. Set yourself goals on how to overcome your grief. If you are struggling with the grieving process, seek help from a sex therapist or a support group. You may wish to check-out Norm-UK which offers advice and support to circumcised men.

There are a few options when it comes to foreskin restoration too, which you may wish to check out. Some can be performed at home via either by manual tugging and massaging exercise (There are some erotic masseurs who may be able to provide this service), T-taping which is a method using tape and elastic to stretch the penis’s shaft skin over the glans, or buy using a specific device designed for foreskin restoration. There are some men who look into surgery as an option too. There’s still limited information on how effective these methods are, and they don’t seem to be effective for everyone. None of these methods will resort the erogenous tissue which the natural foreskin is equipped with, however they will alter your physical appearance, as well as provide you with a protective layer of flesh to cover the penis’s head.

In regards to making oral sex more comfortable I recommend using a good quality water base lubricant. Sliquid do an amazing range of flavoured lubricants, which I recommend you check-out here.

If part of the reason you aren’t enjoying oral sex is due to psychological reasons rather than psychical, I recommend seeking out a therapist, counselor, or similar. I also recommend looking at porn with circumcised actors, and maybe see what methods they use during oral, and maybe even use the porn to distract yourself a bit when you are getting intimate with your partner. During oral sex it may help if your partner also focuses on other areas of your genitals too, and try and mix-up the stimulation more, as this may help you become less focused on the discomfort you may be experiencing.

If the discomfort is still too much, you could opt for desensitizing gels, creams, or sprays.

When your partner is going down on you, there motions and performance may have altered since your operation, and they may not be fully aware of these changes. Plus also your body may not like the same stimulation you loved when you were uncircumcised. When your partner gives you head, focus on talking them through the bits you do and don’t like. If you find something you enjoy, even if it is small, tell them and work up from expanding this.

Remember that when there is any form of physical pain, even if it is post surgery, you should consult your GP.

Good Luck,



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