Personal Post: Rambles about gut instinct

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The gut...

During our day to day lives, our digestives system and general body reflexes, from  raised heart rate and sweats, to butterflies, can all be felt mostly in our gut. Things like IBS and indigestion have a big infulence on our gut, gag, and if appropriate – gender wise our vag(ina). These influences can be affected via stress, or other external stimuli. Heck, it’s so complex I don’t know where it started, and even scientists are led into a spiraling circle which doesn’t lead to a valid conclusion.

 According to some evolutionists, gut instinct and reaction is a natural response, which has developed as a way for our bodies and minds to protect us. I know I follow some principles which evolutionists conform to, but also I have learned through my experiences and study that the gut reflex is not as simple as some make out. Everyone seems to have a different response which is influenced via a different cue – mostly external, but sometimes internal.

For along time I didn’t understand my gut instinct, I knew I had one, but it made very little sense.

My first knowledgeable recognitions of my gut instinct, were when I was younger, probably 3-5 years. I remember crying, huddled in a corner, hiding away from something. For me, this something involved a person, probably a sibling or class mate, who had been a bit of a bully. Throughout the years similar things happened, I had the stomach pains, the heart rate rising, the wanting to run and hide at the same time. But for me, this always happened when someone was trying to affect my behavior, try and change me or take advantage of me

I was told whilst growing up that I had to learn to control these feelings, these natural responses to protect myself. I eventually managed this, although it might’ve taken longer than some. When someone threated me, or presented me with an opportunity which may, or may not, lead to my demise, I walk past it blankly, motionlessly.  Well, I tried, if anything I bottled it up.

For along time this made me forget I had these biological reactions, which were there to protect me. Until, one day, recently it came back with a vengeance. I hurdled over it at first, as I leaped I ignored it, my sweat wept for me (Hell, my hair did too via hair loss). Months passed, I was left incapacitated, worn out and drained, I was yet again that 3-5 year old wanting to hide and creep under the covers. I hid, I hid into the deepest and darkest corner I could find. I kept quiet.

This is when I relised how ignoring my gut instinct trapped me. Once this very bad event had easily battled through my lack of defense systems, which should’ve stayed in place, the bad external stimuli keeping me there didn’t have to do much to restrain me into this corner. And, for awhile, this bad negative external stimuli apparently had even left me without knowing. I was trapped, I trapped myself, although originally this wasn‘t the case. At first I was trapped by this bully. I tried escaping a few times, but due to this event, this person, they managed to find a way back easily, to push me back down there. It really didn’t take much, as I didn’t trust my natural instincts, I didn’t listen to my gut.

I did climb out of it eventually. It was a bit of a confused head rush, my sudden gut reflex gaining power, but I managed it. I learned that in the future, for the benefits of the people around me and myself, it’s better to be that 3-5year old, to have those vocal panics, those kicking and screaming fits. I’m not saying that they should be a long term solution, but sometimes it’s better to get the brutal honesty, and radical behavior over and done with with, before you get trapped, hurt, manipulated, and stuck. Also, it saves time…. trust me, being stuck in that dark corner for months and even years isn’t pleasant – your mind tallies every event, and you’ll quickly run out of chalk to record it methodically and logically, mildew will soon form over the wall space covering those tiny fragments you’ve tried to preserve as back-up, and sooner or later the wall / corner will corrode and you’ll be left with a cold harsh chilling wind constantly nagging you.

Again, sorry for the typos… I just write rambles, I let them flow, I let them be organic. But yeah. Trust your gut! 

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