Orgasm Diet

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It’s no surprise why I’ve put on weight due to working at my desk which happens to be close to my kitchen. Even when working while out, finding a shade covered place to sit with my laptop, it almost impossible.

Ever since falling into a bad depression last year, food has been a simply option to fill that emptiness and pass the time, and while being depressed my brain lost all understanding about carbs.

I’ve tried a few standard diets which haven’t worked well, and if anything, these diets have made things worse.

Luckily I’m exercising most days, but due to still keeping up the large food intake, I’m not losing any weight.

So I’ve decided to opt for the orgasm diet, and because this is something related to my blog, I’m certain I’ll see it through.

 

So from the 1st May, until the 1st of June, I will be replacing snacks and my food cravings with orgasms. If the diet works, I most likely will keep at it even after the 1st June, but I have4 birthdays happening that day, so I expect a lot of cake! (How strange is it that I have two lovers who share the same birthday? As well as my two younger siblings too!). But also, I’m certain you’ll all become bored of tweets and blog posts about it after this period.

 

This is how the diet will work: I’ll eat basically the standard recommended amount women are told they should eat. But I won’t snack, and every time I want to snack, I will go have an orgasm. You’re probably thinking that this won’t always be possible, but I’m even going to use this method when out and about, even when wandering the chocolate section in the supermarket. As I can’t get away with having an orgasm in public sight, I will then walk to somewhere safe and more private and even a public toilet, just to fulfill my dietary needs. (Also, think of the added bonus of walking somewhere to orgasm, and the amount of extra carbs I’ll burn).

To make this a success I will need to make sure I have in my handbag the following:

Lubricant Sachets – I need more of these, so if you’re a company who wants to help support my diet, please send me some, and I’ll tweet you a thank you.

A USB rechargeable vibrator.

A UBS cable – even without my own power source, I’m able to then charge the vibrator in a library, internet cafe, and friend’s houses.

Wet Wipe, for cleaning the toy.

 

It’s pretty simple, and a lot cheaper than many other diets. Apart from the lube, but at least this diet should be cheaper than the actual lube diet, where people replace syrup toppings with flavoured lubricants.

 

So I start my diet on the 1st May, which is next Wednesday. I’m giving you guys a heads up so I can prepare for it.

You can find out live updates by following the twitter hashtag #OrgasmDiet

 

I’m hoping that over the month this method will result in me not only losing weight, and possibly building up my ab strength, but also my cravings will have gone and I’ll be just happier in general.

 

So wish me luck!

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